Rileys Victoria UK Open Qualifer - A Review (19th February 2016)

Ah the UK Open qualifiers at Riley’s Sports Bars, my world championship. Even as a hacker, it is always good to have lofty aims to practice for and this certainly fits the bill. I hold no ambitions of winning a darts tournament in my life ever at my level, but just to be involved is enjoyable enough for me. 

Practice in the build up to this was going fairly terribly. Struggling to get past level 2 on the Russ Bray app (there are 10 levels) averaging 30…with three darts…isn’t much to write home about. So the tactic was simple, try to relax, enjoy it, mingle and live score and tweet updates when not playing.

Upon arrival, things seemed different to last year. For a start it was heaving. Odd I thought, considering this one is normally capped to 64 participants. Of course it quickly became apparent that the field was double the size due to two UK Open spots being up for grabs at this one. Fair enough…better start looking up the night buses…

After causing much confusion at the bar when redeeming my drinks voucher for my customary orange juice (I don’t drink) I was off to join the throng of players queuing up at the ten boards available. I have to say, the setup was excellent. My warm-up went reasonably ie at least two of my darts were going straight at least per turn. All under the watchful eye of the ITV4 camera crew who were filming the action presumably for an air feature. I did however feel extremely dizzy, and promptly rushed to my bag of jelly babies. How people go about eating healthily at evening darts tournaments will always remain a mystery, certainly the range of fast food on offer at the bar hardly appealed.

The time struck 7pm…it was time for the draw.

I’m not entirely sure how one goes about arranging 109 darts players into some semblance of order but if there’s one man who knows how then it is Paul Butler. Darts competition organisers are unsung heroes of this game and they need more recognition for their sterling work in my view. Armed with a spreadsheet (which he designed himself) and a bag of balls (no jokes there…) Paul blasted through the draw on the microphone with efficient gusto, we’d be underway straight after.

When my name was called I didn’t recognise my opponent. This could of course be disastrous or in fact excellent. An unknown quantity lay ahead. Maybe I would get lucky? Or maybe my previous nine darts open 1^st round exits was about to reach double figures.

I hung around my board to see the opening action and catch up with the hordes of spectators and supporters. One of whom was Dave Parletti who I recently interviewed for the podcast, and qualified for the UK Open from Twickenham. Two chaps commented how well I was doing in warm-up. It was nice to hear…although they then added that I throw weirdly. Not a good sign that, must sort that out.

The first game involved Matthew Atkins, who I would imagine is a super league and probably county player. He triumphed 4-0 averaging 65.3 and was 44% on doubles – an eye watering standard that seems worlds apart from my level. I was encouraged however that his opponent average 46…maybe I might get lucky after all.

The next game almost seemed too good for a 1^st round encounter. Lee Williams, who I’d be seeing a lot of this evening won 4-1 against Colin Wallace. A 69.8average played a 64.9 but it was perhaps Lee’s 40% on doubles that proved the difference. Again both would have thrashed me.

It was nice to score a few of the opening games, Alan Casey and Ben Burton have been very kind in their feedback about it so I’m glad to see there is interest. But there would be no live scoring on the next game…for I was up next.

Just before starting, I noticed Ned Boulting and the ITV crew had setup camp next to a pillar to gain a view of the unfolding action. I took this chance to tell him that I think ITV do a good job of their UK Open coverage. Or at least he does for his interviewing. On the whole I think their presentation is very good, it is just the fact they only cover one board which is a major drawback. It would be amazing if the 2^nd stage was at least available on the red button, never mind the eight that used to be available on Sky when it was in Bolton. But anyway, he seemed appreciative….onto the game…

What would follow would be the most surreal 15minutes of my darting life so far. As I say, I didn’t know the guy I was playing which can either spell trouble or provide a slice of good fortune. It proved to be the latter. The oddities kicked off with the chalker…who wasn’t the guy who had just lost. This threw me slightly, although I have been a previous beneficiary of the “Chalk for fiver” unwritten code at tournament darts. I was thrown completely however when after my opponent’s 3^rd practice throw, the chalker wrote down his score of 22.

“Oh have we started?” said my opponent.
I shook my head in disbelief.

“Oh you haven’t started? Ah I wondered why you didn’t go for the Bull” replied the chalker and proceeded to rub the score out.

Good start then.

He won the bull with something that wasn’t very close to the bullseye and we were off. My opponent was wayward, very few darts went anywhere near the twenties. A horrifying thought went through my head…I might actually stand a chance. On reflection this was probably for the worst. I threw terribly…scores of 20s and 30s and some single figures to boot, I was starting to panic. I was sweating, feeling faint and shaking all in equal measure. If I was playing a County standard player there would be no pressure but in this scenario I was the more senior of the two of us…the pressure was all on me. 30 darts each later and both of us were still in the 200’s. This was a disaster, at least a Superleaguer would have long since put me out of my misery by now.

While this was going on, my opponent’s friends were at the side-lines shouting for their man at every opportunity. I was a bit worried other players would think they were with me. Goodness knows what the other boards thought of this. It was starting to get to me. One of them had even had a small but professional looking camera with a light attachment shining it at us filming our every move. After another throw of 26, I glanced up to see the ITV4 camera crew looking on. Ned Boulting had noticed our whiteboard and I’m fairly sure was trying to hold back the laughter. I saw him lean into his accompanying cameraman….who then duly started filming our rapidly filling up scoreboard. In fact it was so full, the scorer had to scrub out the top part of the board to make space for the new scores.

How had it come to this? I was playing the worst darts of my life and I had two cameras filming me and a crowd of people cheering my opponent’s every effort. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.

Suddenly, however, a breakthrough. A treble 20 finally went it probably by more luck than judgment and a turn later I scrambled to double 2. After a few misses, it sneaked in. I was stunned. I was actually winning this match. I stood there waiting for the marker to acknowledge that I finished.

Nothing. He remained motionless.

I walked a step.

Still nothing

I walked up to the board and pointed to the dart.

“Are you going to give that” I asked.

“Oh yes!” he replied cheerfully and then ticked against my name. I’m still not entirely sure what was going on there.

In the next leg, my opponent and I reached under a hundred at the same time. This caused my opponent’s entourage to start shouting finishes at their charge that they’d printed from the Internet.

“Treble 19 mate….Richard Ashdown innit!”, came the incoherent cry. I had to intervene.

“Look guys, I don’t mind but you can’t shout that out. I’m not at a high level, but you are not allowed to help the players like that the side and its off-putting to the other matches”. They were genuinely apologetic and remained silent thereafter. 

And that was basically that. I continued to throw complete dross in the direction of the board as did my opponent. We even missed the entire board on occasion for good measure. But just occasionally I would hit one treble 20 (one being the key number)…and in this case it proved to be enough, and after another two legs under my belt (all of which I have recollection of) I was somehow on double 2 to win the match.

The dart crept in and I stood there dumbfounded. I had won 4-0. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't planned for this. I walked up to my opponent and shook his hand, centimetres from my face was the Itv4 camera crew filming this very moment nearly blinding me with their lighting rig. Oh how I hope it ends up on the cutting room floor.

The crowds began to evaporate as the 2nd round kicked in. I played my 2nd game at 10ish and it was over 10.15. My vanquisher was Lee Williams. I have to say Lee plays the game in the way it should be. Relaxed, care free and a consistent cracker of jokes with the chalker - more people should play darts like Lee in my opinion. He was brilliant, I was not, and he ran way 4-0. I played marginally better than my 1st round struggle but was only on double figures in one of the legs. But I was happy, I'd won a game (even If it was a fortunate draw), and frankly that was enough for me given the state of my darts at the moment.

Now onto chalking.

Leaning against the wall trying not to faint (I was flagging by this point) I marked Lee’s board final against Dave Bailey Jnr which was hard fought but the former edging through. It set up a last 16 match against ex-tour card holder John Scott. Just when I thought I was in the clear and free to do live scoring, Dave Bailey waved a fiver in my direction for his chalking duties and like the tightwad that I am…I took it and headed back to the board of the white variety.

Lee and Scott went toe to toe although both would be first to admit that they were under par. Both had been there for five hours by this point and won three games apiece, I’m sure it must have taken its toll.  John came back from 2-1 down to prevail 4-2.

As it struck midnight and I looked around the now sparse Rileys, it hit me just how dedicated dart players need to be to make it to the top. The last train home had long since disappeared and the tournament had gone on for nearly five hours. You certainly can’t fault the dedication of these guys chasing a chance to mix it with the pros.

One thing I haven’t quite got to grips with as a fan at these Opens is the brutal nature of what the players have to go through. With only two real winners on the evening, the stark reality is that 107 players will go home miserable. Players that I normally cheer from afar including former UK Open entrants Alan Casey, Aaron Turner, Ben Burton, Dave Askew, Paul Amos and Steve Mead had all been knocked out by the time the semi-finals came round at 1am. I found it heart-breaking in all honesty.

Alex Roy would eventually qualify after a brisk win over Surrey’s Dave Webb. It meant that he would have competed in all the UK Opens since the tournament began in 2003. No mean feat.

On the board I was scoring, John Scott battled out a worthy winner against former tour card holder Chris Aubrey 5-2. It would be his third UK Open appearance.

It was great to stay till the end to see John and Alex securing their spots. It clearly meant so much to them, and it was wonderful to see….although at 1.30am I’m still not entirely sure how they made it home. And as for me, well I hope to be back at a UK Open qualifier next year, it remains an absolute highlight of my darting calendar.

Post Script

At the UK Open itself, John narrowly lost out to Dean Winstanley while another Podcast guest Dave Parletti lost to an in form Josh Payne. But Alex Roy did make it to the third round to get “in the money” after terrific victories over Dennis Smith and Jeffrey De Zwaan.